Tennis Shorts: Game’s Funniest One-Liners

Raffy Uytiepo—my fellow columnist, fellow Ilonggo, fellow runner and, yes, fellow injured man (we both own knee injuries)—gifted me with a book last week that, after reading it’s hysterical and brilliant quotations—got me snorting and laughing. Ironically, the 246-page book’s title, “Tennis Shorts,” was my original by-line when my first-ever column appeared (for The Freeman) back in Sept. 21, 1994.

Compiled by Glenn Liebman and fully-titled, “Tennis Shorts: 1,001 of the Game’s Funniest One-Liners,” it was copyrighted in 1997—which explains the absence of Rafa and Roger. Enjoy these tennis shorts…

“Got to let one rest and be fertilized while I’m using the other.” – Bill Cosby, on why he has two grass courts at his house

“Grass is for cows.” – Jan Kodes, on his disdain for grass

Categorized as Tennis


Who says the NBA isn’t shown on cable TV? Early this year, when SkyCable pulled the plug on Solar Sports and, with it, Basketball TV, Cebuanos growled and protested. For how can, to us, the world’s most popular league—whose games we’ve watched since the Magic Johnson and Larry Bird era—be stripped away?

Chester Cokaliong

Chester receiving the champion’s trophy from PAL officials at last year’s PAL Intersports

Isn’t he fascinating? Here’s one of Cebu’s top businessmen (Cokaliong Shipping) whose dawn-till-dusk corporate schedule is jam-packed, finding the time to shoot 16 three-point shots and scoring 56 points. I repeat, no typographical error there: Chester made 16 three-pointers, amassed 56 points—all in one game. Stunning. This happened exactly seven days ago when his Cebu Eastern College Alumni Basketball Association (CECABA) All-Stars demolished the Cebu Dental Society (CDS), 130-71.

Categorized as Basketball

Paco Rodriguez 10th place in Japan

Still on racing, Paco Rodriguez, whom I featured on this column a few weeks ago, returned from the World Karting Finals in Japan with good news.

“We were 36 in our class ‘expert’ and I finished 10th,” said Paco. Then he added, “Not bad… 10th in the world.” You bet that’s not bad. When I asked if he was happy with his showing, Paco said, “Yes, I’m very happy that I’m in the top 10. I didn’t expect to be in the top 10 because I qualified 24th.” Paco told me that it rained during the race and, given his “rainy day” expertise, he moved up and placed 10th.

Categorized as Karting