If your religion is important to you, how could you possibly mesh with someone who disagrees with its core values? While a solid conversation doesn't guarantee that she's going to fall for you, it certainly can't hurt! Your answers indicate that you haven’t experienced any of the common symptoms that are typically associated with HS. Major differences are possible red flags in marriage. As Christie Tcharkhoutian, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist says, this simple discussion will deepen your connection, stay on the same page, and ultimately help you weather life's ups and downs as a couple. If you cannot grow together (aka change), you are doomed.”, “Talk about how you’re gonna handle the parents, especially when they’re older. Find out how much debt that person has and share your info as well. Subscribe for help where you need it most, we’re here for you! Use these things and see how magic happens in your love life. It’s normal to feel so and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I think the single most important question you can ask—and it can’t be while you’re fighting or otherwise angry or distressed—is, ‘Why do you want to marry me?’, If the answer is genuine and makes you happy, you will probably have a good marriage. I know it’s easy for someone in my position to blame their spouse. maybe your SO likes Dr. Phil, but you have an Xbox and headphones and they’re okay with that.) Dr. Marlene Caroselli, author and speaker, Christie Tcharkhoutian, LMFT, licensed marriage and family therapist, Anjani Amladi, MD, board-certified adult psychiatrist, Dan Munro, confidence and relationship coach, Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW, licensed therapist, Jonathan Bennett, relationship and dating expert, Risa Williams, LMFT, therapist and life coach, Leina Rodriguez, LMFT, licensed marriage and family therapist, Sarit Fassazadeh, LCSW, licensed clinical social worker, Ashley L. Annestedt, LCSW, licensed clinical social worker, Alysha Perlman, LCSW, licensed clinical social worker, Andrea Woroch, finance and budgeting expert, Stacey Greene, relationship expert and author, This article was originally published on November 22, 2017. Where do you want to be buried? 15 Things To Talk About With Your Girlfriend To Bring You Closer Conversation topic with your girlfiend. Be honest if you have a tendency to go gay / straight or whether you are open or totally not into it. These tips will make it easy to find topics to talk about with any girl – whether she’s your girlfriend or you’re on a first date. Also check – Random things to talk about with your boyfriend / Things to talk about over text. With the right person, it’s worth it.”, “Expectations and gender roles. Do you like to go camping or clubbing? wanna buy a house? The lives you have and dream of are not necessarily the ones you will get. When you meet up again, you'll both have plenty to discuss. Handling potentially major shocks like kid coming out, failing out of college, being an unexpected prodigy? Set a limit on how much either person can spend without the other knowing until after the purchase. You can’t be sensitive since you have to give space and you can’t be insensitive since this will involve your kids. If one of you is low-libido and the other is high, you’re going to have a bad time. Once you've been with your partner for a minute, it can sometimes feel like you've talked about everything. Do you want to rent or own? Happy to rise to the occasion but can’t say I’m not a little bit nervous about working hard enough to at least maintain our current quality of life.”. Fun questions are not only a great way to start a conversation with your boyfriend. Remember to visit a dermatologist once you've completed the quiz, and talk to them about your answers. "Oftentimes we feel we must fill all of our space with entertaining chatter," Stacey Greene, relationship expert and author, tells Bustle. NOBODY KNOWS IT EXISTS. Outlook in Life Clarify that you are mostly in accordance of each other’s outlook in life. Serious Things To Talk About With Your Boyfriend. What if I start drinking too much in the afternoon? Goals and dreams take planning, combined efforts, time and money. Aside from issues that are directly money-related, questionable relationships need to be examined. But when we did, she didn’t follow through. “Kids; who wants them, how will you raise them, how will you support them (dual income or stay at home), Deal breakers/the nature of the commitment: people go into marriage with different expectations. Kids are probably the next big one, my wife and I are 100% no’s on that one so it’s a non-issue for us at least, and it’s been that way for long before we met each other so there’s not much concern about either of us changing our minds. “Unrealistic expectations of social events are one thing me and my wife argue about. I’ve recently learned of cluster B personality disorders, which includes narcissism, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder. Don’t surprise your partner with a sex talk. When she finally read the book, she told me she could hear 4 of the languages in me and she laughed saying ‘I’ll never be able to do that’ as if it was a joke. plan to pay off? Do you respect me? The best deep conversations wander from thought to thought naturally, but they all begin somewhere. one or both of you already have them? How do you budget? Take the quiz to see if your symptoms may be HS—a chronic inflammatory skin condition that may be linked to the immune system. Wife was kind of bummed about this, but I made my case and she understands. Do you always want to live here or would you be OK moving for work? Arguing… What is or isn’t acceptable? There’s a chance they only consider physical interaction cheating.”, “Myself and Wife 1.0 aired our dirty laundry to each other. So make a point of shaking things up. Carrying over into the family section, are we going to be enjoying our time off, or traveling to visit family often that one of us may not enjoy seeing? I strongly encourage you to have separate credit cards. Marriages go through ups and downs. Find out all the costs first. Not to mention you probably won’t be able to settle down until you’re both done. Is too gullible to strangers? For example, we paid off both our cars. Learn more about working with Thought Catalog. Are you fine if they smoke in the house? The more honest and open you are, the better your relationship will feel. You don’t need a lot of money to be happy but at least you should have ENOUGH. My husband is terrible at remembering to pay bills so I took that over. Even if you've already had your fair share of arguments, it doesn't hurt to have one "big talk" about your specific views on conflict resolution before marriage. It would not work in the long run. “Money is of course the big one… The overall picture is important, AKA what debt, retirement, savings do we have, but how it will be handled in the future is more important… do we both agree on not buying toys or vacations on credit, do we agree on the type of cars, houses, clothes, toys, etc., we will buy, do we have the same retirement goals, how will be figure out disagreements, how or will we combine accounts, etc. See what you have in common and what you totally disagree on. "Find a new hobby to enjoy together," Stef Safran, a relationship expert, tells Bustle. 18 years later we are still married but man those first few years sucked and there is still some residual issues.”. If both of you agree to this, you can get through a lot of stuff that can otherwise kill a relationship. Once it’s all out of the way (assuming you know marriage is the right choice) you’ll be glad.”, Like most young adults getting married for the first time, it never occurred to me to do this, and if my fiancé had brought it up, I’d probably have battled with injured feelings and doubt, but even if neither of you have a dime starting out, and even if you can’t imagine money ever being a point of contention between you, the fact remains that financial issues are one of the primary precursors to divorce, and you’ll be doing yourselves and any children (existing or potential) involved a big favor by ruling it out from the get-go.”, “How much time do you want to spend with each other? I’d already read it. No. Marriage is about a million different compromises. But there are ways to remedy it all the same. However, it can cause a huge wedge in relationships. If your partner could change one thing from their past, what would it be? Life Skills Are you sure you want to marry someone who can’t even cook an egg? And finally, can we communicate things to each other as we go? What would they like to work on in your relationship? Finances both short and long term. Things that you will never think to ask will come up. There is, however, a twist or two, Dan Munro, a confidence and relationship coach, tells Bustle. The country? What if our son has trouble making friends? I’m fine with adoption, but I’d always feel like I’m carrying another man’s child or raising another woman’s child with sperm or egg donation. Discussions are essential. I wish we had dealt with these things. What happens if you want to move away from or closer to family? I know the tendency to blame the partner is there, but I can list incident after incident of how she’s exhibited these traits. All you need is some conversation starter … Thoughts on debt? All rights reserved. If the answer is ‘nothing’ you’re lying, don’t get married. All of that said, don't feel pressured to talk 24/7, if you (or your partner) don't want to. , short term for Xmas or vacation, date night or hobbies come out of your individual accounts. Set goals. Also discuss if you want to rent or buy. You know by now what you can say to this person that there’s no coming back from. If you want kids and are open to having many, be cautious of a pro-choice partner. How many would you find ideal, and when? Ask about heroes, or people or things that influence your partner, including family members, favorite authors, political figures, etc. Can you stand the thought of living in a city? Am I important to you? “Money. Do you want them? If fact, the last one is the only way I can justify why a relationship she had with another woman isn’t an affair—I found numerous books on lesbianism on her Kindle, books about being in love with another woman while married to a man. Stick to topics that she seems happy to talk … Experience is the best teacher and there is always a first for everything… but if you want a longer life and not die of poisoning or some freak accident at least know half of the basics before thinking of getting married. Another way to break out of a conversation rut is by trying to make each other laugh, Risa Williams, LMFT, a therapist and life coach, tells Bustle. via: Pexels / Kasuma. Are there deal breakers? Learning how to talk to girls is super important though, especially if you want to learn how to get a girlfriend. "If you have been with your partner for a while then you can absolutely revisit old topics," Klapow says. The best topic to talk/text about with your girlfriend; Just make sure the conversation doesn’t turn into an interview. But instead of finding out where your boyfriend wants to settle down, you can find out what type of vacation your boyfriend likes. If you plan on having kids, is their presence going to affect the answer to any of the above questions?”. What would that hobby be? We’ve got ideas to help your family grow. Pay attention to which topics make her excited and which topics make her clam up. Go to a museum and compare your reactions to the exhibits. Have you experienced tender, swollen bumps, either on or under your skin, that may produce foul-smelling liquid and scarring? We have very opposing philosophies on it. But you can also use these questions as part of a game. asking each other questions. How to Handle Change. Be wary of people who keeps on saying excuses…at least try right?”. My spouse and I both left our hometown and then came back and plan to stay because our aging parents are here. Luckily my wife also agrees. It’s been a rough three years, but the end is near. It means more things to do together and more things to talk … "This is a 'deep' question not suited for light-hearted moments," Jonathan Bennett, a relationship and dating expert at Double Trust Dating, tells Bustle. “I think you need to have a real hard conversation about the kind of sex life you’re going to be having. In those first years, you’ll think ‘I’ll never ever be that upset with you’ and the idea of needing help from an outside source seems ludicrous. TKO and all you have to do is say it. Start with the 36 questions that lead to love, from The New York Times. What does each person ideally want near them as far as big cities, open countries, oceans, hiking, fishing…? (my husband stuck with me after my mom committed suicide, and still married me- after seeing me in what could easily be considered the darkest ugliest year of my life- most of which I do not remember- He took care of me. Marriage isn’t easy, but it had been the best experience of my life.”. We also agreed to not hold any of these issues over each other’s head, for whatever reason. I speak from a failed marriage. I had no idea that my husband wanted a workshop until we finally started making good money. Understand what each of you wants out of life. As Munro says, the "noise inside your head" can be quite interesting. As a bonus, it'll help you make better decisions as a couple going forward. Also, that religion extends to his/ her relatives who you will be meeting and spending holidays with. Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page. You should speak with a dermatologist about your answers to this quiz to get a proper diagnosis. Would you want an abortion? Coming up with things to talk about with your crush can be tough. So I’m rushing to live as fast as I can. But she will not share with anyone whom she has just met. Maybe you want kids but your main aspiration is making a large impact on the world. I read the descriptions of these and see how her behaviors fit so many of the traits. StÃgur MÃ¡r Karlsson /Heimsmyndir/E+/Getty Images, checked in with each other about your future. “What do you want to happen after you die? Make a point of bringing levity back into your day by telling funny stories, joking around with each other, and making witty observations. Long-term personal goals for accomplishments and what support will be required there (aka, don’t spring it on your husband 2 years into marriage that you’ve always wanted to hike the blue ridge parkway so buck up buster, it’s happening. It may feel awkward at first, but questions like these can spark a healthy convo that you've probably never had before. trade off years? Do you want to rent and just blow all your money? Or throw out a fun topic â like, "do you think aliens exist? “I’m gonna say religion (everything else I thought of has already been said). Political differences? Is there a long-time good friend who, despite having their positive qualities, has gotten your SO in trouble through their (the friend’s) drug use? “‘Talk about money’ or ‘ask to see their credit report’ isn’t the right way to approach it. What if one of us gets an illness that prohibits intercourse for months at a time? So, how's your sex life? This is just a small sample of questions you should know the answer to before marrying someone.”. All too often, people assume that this kind of issue will simply ‘go away’ once the ex sees how serious they are about their new life (‘they’ll leave me alone once I’m married’).”, “I asked a ton of questions, but ultimately I wanted to see how my wife stood up and compared when we traveled together. Even if everything else is perfect, with that core of intimacy missing, the marriage is doomed. Little things build up and build up over months and years, and without that solid foundation, that essential connection, there’s nothing really that sets it apart from a really good friendship. THEY NEVER SEE THIS. “Be absolutely sure you’re sexually compatible. Please note: This quiz is not meant to diagnose patients with HS. So go ahead and get real. You can use these questions with your boyfriend or girlfriend, or use them even if you’re married. We, sadly, didn’t have this very important conversation and it took almost ten years to finally nail it down. Are there crazy exes who pop up every 5-10 years? Do you like to go out and party or stay home? Fess up to your embarrassing moments, whether they happened five minutes ago, or five years ago, Leina Rodriguez, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Bustle. Decide who it’s okay to discuss your problems with. Mental health history? Do you have a criminal record; if so, what for? What are your deal breakers? "The thing about money is that itâs the type of conversation you can keep having and it never gets stale, especially as you begin reaching new milestones in your life," Andrea Woroch, a finance and budgeting expert, tells Bustle. Freedom of religion is true, but since you will be living under one roof this is a challenge. If one of you is still in school or planning on pursuing a master’s or Ph.D. or something, you really need to sort this out to figure out financials. Will you agree not to try and make me eat tofu instead of steak if you go vegan? Since you are communicating with your friends at different locations, there will be weather differences around. Practical help for your family just got easier to find. Because…well, at that point, their partner is stuck dealing with it. "First, you must ask deep and dark questions â try to get the real secrets out of someone," he says. Keep in mind this is coming from someone with a Christian background so take it with a grain of salt if you’re of different beliefs. resilient and connected, closer to God, and even in reaching out around you. Do you want to own a house? What if we had only $400.00 in our bank account and I wanted to go away for the weekend, but we needed new tires for the car? Similarly, you can learn more about each other's pasts by chatting about regrets. So, while you've likely covered the basics, try to delve deeper by sharing childhood secrets or telling old family stories. What if I think our kids would do better in private school? What if you won fifty-thousand dollars? Do you have any family traditions that we need to commit to after marriage (like a certain holiday is always at so-and-so’s house, no exceptions)? Take heed of the advice from others below that was found on, Unique Holiday Gifts from Thought Catalog , 18 People Share The One Crushing Secret They’re Keeping From Their Significant Other, The 5 Most Important Pieces Of Relationship Advice, 39 Discussions Every Couple Needs To Have Before Getting Married, 11 Happily Married People Give Their Brutally Honest Advice For Folks Who Want LTRs, The 20 Most Important Things To Know About Marriage Before You Get Engaged, According To Happily Married People, My 89-Year-Old Grandma Taught Me How To Be Single. It would’ve been one thing if they had had a run of bad luck, but her mom refused to work and her dad was always a latest get rich scheme kinda guy, so I had no sympathy for them. What if she decides she doesn’t want kids. This kind of conversation isn’t easy, but marriage is (supposed to be) kind of a big deal. Philosophy on punishment and responsibilities? How will these things play out with kids and holidays?”. Where to live/retire? Joint or separate bank accounts? Need help finding a dermatologist? Do you like pets, what kind and how many do you want to have? For sure there are some things that you wouldn’t share with just anybody, but there is nothing you can’t share with your boyfriend, right? “In the event of infertility, are you OK with: Only after we went through that question, I realized I wasn’t ok with sperm or egg donation. What habits, experiences or events led to any noteworthy problems in the past? If you love this person and agree or compromise on most stuff (I mean you just wanna punch their kinda racist uncle in the face, but you can refrain if you only have to see him at weddings and funerals. Do you want to stay where we are, or move? Please, for the love of public embarrassment, talk to your partner before asking.”, “What is your actual debt? Sometimes, I Don’t. Also, I would say religion. Good luck and happy living ”. If you’re on life support when do you want the plug pulled?”, “Who will be your priority: me or your mommy?”. If you both agree, cool. Feel free to have a third just for household expenses like utilities. Can we compromise effectively? She agreed to try on our own, but then wouldn’t follow through. But it's always important to talk to a dermatologist about any medical concerns you may have. I plan to eventually go back to work again, but our goal is to always use my income for “whipped cream”- the things we want but don’t need (private education, vacations, etc.). Maybe you really wanna excel in your career. Are you both fulfilled? This is major. Are you of the same religion and piety (My wife’s okay we don’t go to church and is fine with ‘goddamn’ but gets offended by ‘Jesus fucking Christ,’ so I watch my mouth.) Pets… Do you want any? "Reading a book together or watching a movie and then having mindful conversations surrounding your thoughts about it can be a great way to connect and talk about something other than the day-to-day," she says. Feeling overworked, overwhelmed, and unappreciated in your relationship will kill it as quickly as anything else.”, “How you would handle a sick (physical or mental) child. Part ways and visit friends, try a solo hobby, or simply spend some time alone. “Figure out who is paying the bills (not covering the cost, I mean literally sending off the check) and if you want a joint account to do that. "The topics may not change, but your perspectives, your understanding of them, and how you see them as individuals and as a couple will.". What if my mom doesn’t like you? When do you plan to start? Kids. “As someone who got married in a hurry (wife was 8 months pregnant at our wedding…we’d been together for about 9 months) and is now headed for divorce, I think I can shed some insight. Not only is it fun to lightly rib each other after a screw up, Rodriguez says "it can also help you learn how your partner overcomes [their mistakes], or if they have a hard time letting go.". Sex—likes and dislikes. Click here. So ask what would your partner do if money was no object? Kids. What if we had a baby who wouldn’t stop crying? It's simple, since all it involves is (you guessed it!) Kids? 1). I hope it works out for the best for both of you. Maybe you have a dream to get a degree down the road. Further down the line, ask him … Not only will this be exciting to talk about, but it will help to connect you closer. But do we promise to give as much as we can? On the flip side, some people don’t want kids, and that’s also incredibly important to discuss. It creates trust and it pre-empts problems, and just as importantly it stops those little irritants from lingering until they suddenly become horrible, bitter arguments.”. "Second, you must answer as honestly as possible. I rather adopt than do it with someone else. Finances—bill payments, family/joint vs. individual accounts, tax filing, rent/mortgage payments, etc. ", Life can certainly feel monotonous when you're following the same schedule day in and day out. You might even learn something new about each other. When? Are we going to vaccinate our kids, or are we unfit parents who shouldn’t reproduce? And things like swearing and stuff also come into it.”, “Every relationship has its own boundaries, hard limits and things people are willing to compromise on… figure out what those are for each of you and make sure they align well. There’s also everyday habits—getting up early to go to church, praying, helping out, seeing bibles everywhere—and how you raise your kids too. Thank God.”. Basically, is there anyone your SO has trouble saying ‘no’ to, who has demonstrably taken advantage of this on more than one occasion? My ex’s parents had a terrible work ethic and literally nothing in the bank. Quite frankly, I don’t know if it would have helped, but I could have at least said, ‘but we agreed to this.’ Three years ago, I had enough of her selfishness and said we needed counseling and she refused. Will you be supportive when times are hard? Leisure You can’t just have sex whenever you’re bored. How many? These are your run of the mill, first meeting someone, topics to talk about. The right questions can get you closer than you’ve ever dreamed. Chat about your favorite things: cartoons, words, movies, music, animals, Chinese restaurant orders—just about anything is fair game. A million. If we have kids, do you plan to take time off to raise them? Since couples historically hate talking about money, chances are you haven't discussed finances lately â if at all. do they go to church/temple/mosque regularly or on the holidays or not at all? In the same vein, consider sharing "random" thoughts and emotions, even if they don't seem conversation-worthy. if neither of you are active do they intend to start attending worship in the future? Let your boyfriend know your fantasies and things you’d like to try. "But, a personâs greatest regret in life can reveal a lot about them. What if we had a four-year-old who poured a glass of milk into your hard drive? So if that's what's happening, go with the flow. Do you want to file jointly on our taxes? Biggest one I can tell you to discuss. On that subject, and financially, what will we eat and how often will it be out versus at home? When was the last time you checked in with each other about your future? From casual matters to more serious subjects, choose conversation topics that build your relationship. Should we get married? Every year take some time on your anniversary or birthday or Groundhog Day and add anything new to the notebook. Have you ever heard the saying, ‘We fall in love by chance, we stay in love by choice’? Once you stumble upon something interesting or something they are interested in, keep talking about that for a while. Lack of empathy. “Politics. What drives you crazy about the other? Do you have any significant debt/bankruptcy/terrible credit stuff/student loans? I know a lot of millennials want to rent and live in the city. Sex… How often do you each want it? It's like truth or dare... without the dare part.". You’re entering what is designed to be an exclusive, life-long partnership. I loved them to death, but I wasn’t gonna pay for their bad choices.”. How important are your religious beliefs? There is nothing worse than being married to a back-stabbing critic who always assumes the worst about you. What if one of us loses our job and we have to move to a small apartment that doesn’t have air conditioning? Do we promise not to retreat, feelings hurt, to our side of the bed and close off, but to express our feelings and try to work things out? What went well? Are you willing to quit any of these if your partner insists on it? Pick a neutral spot (not the bed!) We aren’t allowed to call each other names, for example. What do you think about those people? What if his brother gets in an accident and needs you to be his medical advocate for the rest of his life. If we aren’t talking about our day, we discuss the news, send each other memes and videos, and talk about the current pop culture. You have to share or be flexible to learn and enjoy each other’s hobbies. What if I am? If you both like the same stuff, that’s always better. You can wait until you’re a little older, early 30s for example, to set yourself up to afford it. When your conversation turns into an interrogation, stop. With a premarital counselor, therapist or head of a religious institution is the most common, but for tech-minded millennials or those looking for a low-cost, convenient option, there's also Lasting.. Instead, it's about pulling inspiration from your inner dialogue â your daydreams, thoughts, concerns, etc. Marriage is hard. Circumstances in which pregnancy could/should be terminated? It's important to talk to a dermatologist about any medical concerns you may have. If he's a new boyfriend, asking fun questions to get to know him, is a good start. Are you the kind of person who will move for a job, or will we both only seek job opportunities where we are now? Vacation fund? What types? Do you think I’m a good person? Weather. Do you want your kids to have it if you don’t? But they're always there. (For the record, I really want kids but I wanna give them my full attention without having to worry about finances). You don’t want to have a racist partner who says he respects you but mocks your people. So you gotta figure out whether you both really affirmatively enjoy having sex with each other and can maintain a high enough frequency over time, or whether one of you is just humoring the other one until they’re trapped.”, “What do they consider cheating? Life will fucking punch you in the stomach sometimes. What you really need to know is: Do you love me? If the answer is shallow don’t get married. This is a topic you should be chatting about regularly, ... All of that said, don't feel pressured to talk 24/7, if you (or your partner) don't want to. If that’s the case, it could be an issue and I’d want to know sooner than later. How much will you save each month? Planning is essential. It should be a lot, but there should be room. What’s important to you? Expectations for the future? I wasn’t raised to believe in religion, and I’m not planning to raise my kids any differently, so it would potentially be an issue if it wasn’t sorted out early. Chances are you did this all the time when you first started dating, so bring it back! if kids are no, move on. But I really love the suburbs I grew up in and wouldn’t mind living there forever. If either of you feels stuck in life or in your relationship, going back to school or making a career change might be just what you need to feel inspired again. 2020 Bustle Digital Group. what’s your monthly nut? You can ask them about the weather and atmosphere in their area. It took us both a while to learn to compromise and understand the other on how to make it work.”. Where do you want to live? This involves principles, culture and choice of lifestyle. These conversation starters are fun, making it easier than you think to find topics to discuss with your girlfriend at night, during the day, and even in text messages. Or perhaps you want to travel with your spouse for a few years before settling down. Save for retirement how? Are you fine with dragging a falling-down-drunk spouse home, and if so, how often? Now, you feel like you literally have nothing creative, interesting, or important left to say â and the silence is deafening. 14 How To Deal With Illness Then one day you’ll find yourself fighting and on the verge of dropping the bomb. Do you believe in abortion? This is a topic you should be chatting about regularly, to make sure you're both happy and on the same page. If you can compromise and start to imagine growing old with this person, take my advice: In a small notebook, write down everything you love about this person. In utero and if and when it’s born. Your conversations may not always be interesting, exciting, or meaningful… but they strengthen your relationship nonetheless, and that’s the most important thing! How do you want to spend your retirement (travel, community, Boca, Alaska)? Finances, people we had dated, former pregnancies…everything. She will talk about it only when she thinks you to be special. What if he needs to make a midlife career change. Is there a potential a parent or sibling would need care in the future from one of us? Things to talk about on FaceTime 1. Some couple’s ‘downs’ are 50 times better than other couple’s ‘ups,’ but nevertheless, things fluctuate. 100 Dirty Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend … Topics a Girlfriend Will Like to Talk About. Do you need both partners to be the same religion? You've told your stories, you've shared your dreams, and you've muttered a few words about what you'd like to eat for dinner. Children. Read The Five Love Languages, he told us. But, a conversation for a specific purpose is what makes more sense. Child Care is expensive. where do you spend which holidays? So no kids for a few years. "Cooking, working out â something you can do together.". Learning more will help you see each other with fresh eyes. Stability Not much of a question if you are in for a life of hunting and gathering or a person with great survival skills. Expectations for caring for elderly parents? to discuss this sensitive topic. And still wanted to marry me. Your SO might have a former partner who is prone to causing personal and professional havoc in their lives, whom they don’t know how to deal with, but honestly don’t want to have sabotaging their new relationship. The people you are when you get married are not the people you are 2, 5, 10, 30 years from now. "Your partner might have a dream career that you never knew about, like musician, professional athlete, or dancer." Career goals and what it takes to get there? In the last 6 months, have these bumps reappeared 3 or more times? Decide how you handle conflict. We each take $100 in cash each month to spend on whatever we want so that if I want lunch out or he wants to eat donuts, we aren’t seeing that in our credit cards each month. Although this is like Pandora’s Box and you don’t really want to open the subject, in case you are looking for funny things to talk about with your boyfriend, this should be on the top of your list. Do you have it? A lot of thing you’ll know if you’ve been together long enough. What do you want in life? Will we decide things together or will you try to decide them for me? It’s not sexy but it’s important. Again, we lucked out with family, but how will issues with relatives, especially elderly, disabled, troubled, etc. “If you’re young, discuss education. Decide at what point you, as a couple, will agree to marriage counseling and how to communicate this to your spouse. 2. Keep these deep conversation topics in mind the next time you and your girlfriend take a long drive, share a romantic dinner, or stay up talking all night. As Bennett says, "It can be a great way to be vulnerable with each other. Are there relatives one of you just can’t abide? When pimple-like bumps or boils start showing up in areas where skin rubs together, you may question what’s going on with your body. Ask how your partner feels, right this moment. You don’t have to be shy. Even if it’s not for health/religion reasons? Your husband / wife’s satisfaction is a top importance to your relationship’s longevity. This moment can certainly be a turning point in a long-term relationship, but there is no need to panic â especially since the more you worry about coming up with something new to say, the harder it'll be. When you are talking about sex, you are opening the door to your vulnerability, and when this is out on the table, it makes you that much closer. Talk to Your Boyfriend Like He's Your Friend. Can’t pay bills? On some occasions, she’s really talkative and you can luckily just sit back and relax filling in the conversation with “yeah” and “uh-huh,” but other times you have to introduce a few new topics in order to get her to open up to you. Want to build a strong connection and get closer to her? “Make sure the person wants to marry you, too. If you are a thrifty / a person with reasonable expenses you would certainly hate it if your husband/wife spends a hundred dollars for a fancy meal that only covers merely a tenth of your hunger meter. But this game will help build a sense of closeness between you, if you trust each other with a secret or two. No lies here. I just don’t mean city or state, but that’s important too.
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